This is ment for entertainment. Don't take this seriously.(But sadly, this applies to pretty much everyone, i have yet to meet a single person that doesn't have SOMETHING about one gun or thing in the game(me included)

Pistols
1. Glock
About as good as throwing sticks at people

2. USP
Much better than the starting T pistol

3. P228
N00b weapon, use deagle instead

4. Desert Eagle
Overpowered, Headshot city
"Omg, <LOOK MA, I AM SWEARING> noob Desert Eagle, lrn2use proper gun like P90"

5. 5-7
Worse than a glock

6. Dual Elites
Mash and Pray.

SMG's
1. Mac-10
Spray and Pray

2. MP-5
Aim at head and spray

3. UMP(Toothchipper)
Chips teeth

4. P90
Luck weapon
"OMG OMG, he killed me by spraying 40 bullets at my head for me being incapable to fire five into the general area from which he was coming from"

Riffles

1. Galil
Shit gun, don't use

2. FAMAS
Burst fire is overpowered
"OMG noob stop using burst fire and use a real gun like an M4"

3. AK-47
Overpowered, unable to spray with
"OMG SPRAY KILL, lucky <LOOK MA, I AM SWEARING>, DIAF"

4. M4
Unsilenced M4 sucks, Takes most skill to use
"M4 is teh pwnzor!!!!1!!1!oneone!!11!shiftone

5. Scout
Takes more skill than awp, most non-noob gun in the game, very hard to kill with
(Player on same team) "Awesome" (Player on other team) "FUCKING HACKER"

6. AUG
Not much to say

7. SG-552
Not much to say

8. AWP(Also known as; BFG, N00b-Cannon, Gay gun, The gun that that more skilled guy than me used to kill me, The gun that sucks cause i can't hit shit with. Also correctly called the AWM. Players oftentimes reffered to as: Gay, Lesbian, Whore, Slut, Cock, Dick, Fucker, Haxor, Hax0r, HAXER, Bullshitter, N00b, lamer.)
Requires no skill to use, overpowered, costs 1$, comes with aimbot, other player has no skill, unbalances game, unkillable, makes you get a small penis.
"OMG N00b AWP-er killed me cause i ran into his crosshair"
"OMG Gay AWP-er killed me cause i rushed into him in a straight line"
"OMG Slut AWP-er killed me cause i can't throw smoke grenades/flashbangs/jump around/do erratic movement/give any effort to avoid him(Applies to EVERYONE who even SLIGHTLY whines about the AWP, NO exceptions.)"

Equipment

1. Kevlar[
OMG 5-kills to kill someone

2. Kevlar & Helmet
OMG Useless
"Why dat noob not die when me pwnz0r his head, RAEG"

3. HE Grenade(Also know as: Roman Candle)
Does more damage then anyone could ever hope for
"Why he no die when i shove HE grenade down his throat, 80 damage, HAX!"

4. Flashbang
Doesn't blind opponents at all, must be used in herds of 20 or more to be effective
"Why he get unblinded in 10 seconds?"
"Why he no get flashed when it land 10 M behind him"

5. Smoke Grenade
Fucking useless
"Use on a AWP? LOLOLOL NAB *Dies from AWP* RAEG!"

6. Defuse kit
Nab defuse kitter
"5-10 seconds? makes no difference, we r teh uber, need no 200$ defuze"

7. Nightvision
Epically useless
"The <LOOK MA, I AM SWEARING> is this?"

Misc.

1. OMG REG
"I has shit aim, so i must blame reg!"

2. FPS
"Mah FPS if 80, dats why i no kill people"

3. Lag
"OMG OMG 40 ping LAAAAAAAAAAAAG"

xD

lol Oggy xD nice topic =D

ffs my keyboard froze,

omg window popped up in game

virus scanner is making me lag :X

omfg my mouse is crap, u got better one

omfg i cant play inferno, it makes me lag cos of low fps. put on nuke ffs!

(erm...inferno has higher fps than nuke, but oooooooook!)

*awp hs x 5* Gawd what an awping noob!! seriously 1 shot kill >.<" no skill

omfg get a scout (with ur 5 hs xD)

You forgot

"RATES! OMG YOUR FUCKING RATE HACKING! OMG RATES! CHECK HIS RATES!"
(Now mix that with Angry German Kid, and your on the same wavelength)

omfg its against rules of wars to use autosniper, we win the whole map by default

(this acutally happened)

haha couldnt agree more xD

omfg.....he got there so quick. stop bhop ffs


(erm, ever heard of running with knife?)

haha!! xD *hears foot steps* "BOOM HEAD SHOT"!!! oMfG wall HACKERS¬!!!!

"OMG HITBOXES SUCK! PLAY 1.6!! 1.6 NEEDS SKILL!"

lmao css is cs 1.6 without aim ffs. go play css, spraying noob

omfg....he killed me with spray....no recoil!?

Heh, brilliant.

Pistol wise - the first 2 are pretty correct - I once won 1v2 repeatedly because we started starting pistols only and I was CT, lol.

5-7 rules

You didn't say anything about my favourite weapons (SG552 and AUG). You missed autosnipe (and shotties and MG), surely there's some good ones for those!

Headshot with MG!?!?!? OMG AIMBOT!!! HAX! HAX! BAN HIM! WHERE YOU GET YOUR HAX NOOB!?!?

haha si XD

Harry joined the server in spectate when we wore in war >.<" lol They thought we wore cheating!!

he joined source tv, not spectate.

OMG liek why no respawn? This sucks lol!

ffs who told me to press f10 to bring up cheat menu, what the hell!?

Isn't bunny hopping legal anyway?

lol buny hoping dnt even give u advantage lol the normal way makes u slower and slower the way tht works is difficult and generaly screws u up more thnn helpful lol

There's a way to bunny hop. There's always a way to bunny hop.

bunny hop is illegal in officials.

"OMG SHITTY IRISH CUNT PEOPLE, NO REG FFS"