Sammy Hagar was this close to having the day’s weirdest quote (it’s here) about extraterrestrial life, but then Venezuela’s Hugo Chavez gave a speech. “I have always said, heard, that it would not be strange that there had been civilization on Mars, but maybe capitalism arrived there, imperialism arrived and finished off the planet,” he said, according to Reuters. There’s no indication he was joking, and the Wall Street Journal plays it the same way.

Chavez’s comment came during a speech to mark World Water Day. He added: “Careful! Here on planet Earth where hundreds of years ago or less there were great forests, now there are deserts. Where there were rivers, there are deserts.” The military action against Libya, he added, is all about water and oil reserves.

A security officer at the McNamara Federal Building stored a suspicious package that turned out to contain a bomb for three weeks before alerting authorities, said a spokesman for a union that represents guards at the site, who called the incident "a total embarrassment."
"He apparently set it aside," said David Wright, president of the American Federation of Government Employees Local 918, which represents the Federal Protective Service (FPS) employees, who guard the McNamara and other federal buildings around the country.

A 7-year-old German girl was shocked to find a large snake looking up at her from the potty this weekend.

Police in Hanover say they were called to an apartment in the Linden-Süd district on Saturday night after the girl’s mother telephoned them to report a serpent in her lavatory. The lily-livered cops refused to handle the toilet snake, they just took a photograph of it which they passed on to boffins and experts so they could identify the animal.

What. The. Fuck.

I swear your random news gets more random each time